In the heat of the Sun
by touchnotthecat
Summary: Tears of the Sun fic. Catherine Woods is assigned to Lieutenant Waters command, who would have thought she would be where she ends up...begins six years before the movie. Caution: Chapter Fifteen contains BAD language.
1. New Recruit

Chapter One

Catherine walked into the women's barracks, it was completely disserted, "Ah, just like home," She whispered to herself throwing her duffel bag on the cot and hearing it whine under the weight.

She rolled her eyes. Lieutenant Waters had shown her where to go. She ran her hand through her blonde hair, so this was home.

Catherine Woods was your average twenty two years old. She was around 5'10", with long blonde hair that was dark underneath. She had big brown eyes and a thin build and face. Her mother said it was a waste of her pretty face to be in the navy but Catherine couldn't disagree more. She loved the military and she strived to be the best she could be at what she did.

She was in demolition, and explosives, not to mention she had a degree in linguistics. She could master a language in a matter of days and did it for fun. That was one of the reasons Lieutenant Waters said he was interested in her.

"Come on, I heard she was in here." Catherine looked up not expecting anyone to be looking for her. Four guys barged into the barracks and stared at her like she was an alien.

"Hi," She waved and gave them a sardonic smile. Two of them waved, one raised an eyebrow as he looked her up and down and the other just looked…bored. That one was the one that caught her attention.

"Hi," Said one of the ones who had waved back. It was an informal meeting in the navy but she shrugged it of the whole situation was unusual to begin with. He was around 6'1" with surprisingly blonde hair; he had a sharp nose and an angular face. "I'm Red,"

"Red?"

"Yeah long story," He held out a hand and Catherine took it happy at the gesture of friendship. "This is Silk." He pointed his thumb over his should to a black guy, with a do rag on; he was around 6' and nice smile obviously a ladies man.

"Mmm," Catherine crossed her arms and stared at Silk. "You are fine, what is a pretty thing like you doing in the marines?"

"I got bored, and you are on thin ice." Catherine shook the man's hand, he nodded seeming to stop looking at her as if she was a piece of meat.

"Ignore him," She looked back at Red ready for the next introduction, "This is Flea."

He nodded politely in Catherine's direction and actually inclined his head to her. He looked like a guy out of a boy band at around 5'11" with nothing really standing out in his face; he had brown eyes, brown hair, pretty standard.

Catherine shot him a quick smile and turned to the last guy. He was around 6' with brown hair that was shaved to a strip on his head with the front brushed up to a short Mohawk. He had a tattoo on his neck and seemed to have little interest in their introduction.

"And this is Lake,"


	2. On Leave

Chapter Two

Kelly Lake was the most abrasive, antagonistic man Catherine had ever met and yet she was madly in love with him. Inter-platoon relationships were something Catherine was not interested in so she did her best to ignore her feelings. It was hard.

He was insufferable. He didn't think women should be allowed in the forces…. especially not in the marines ergo he seemed to despise Catherine with every fibre of his being. She tried to tell her self over and over again that he wasn't worth it. She wasn't there to find a boyfriend, she was there to make a living and protect her country…but it didn't seem to get through her thick skull.

"Angelica you aren't getting it." She said over the phone to her best friend. Catherine had know Angelica her entire life. They had been neighbours and their mother best friends.

"What does he look like?"

"You aren't supposed to encourage me, you are suppose to tell me what a sleaze bag he is. I mean if he ever found out he would be all 'this is exactly why girls shouldn't be in the navy.'"

"Oh come on Cat it isn't as if he is ever going to find out, just tell me what he is like." Catherine leaned against the wall next to the phones base.

"He's gorgeous, and intense and has the bluest eyes imaginable and-

"AND!"

Catherine had stopped talking because Red was standing in the doorway of her barracks. He had raised an eyebrow and was staring at her. Her mouth was hanging open desperately trying to think of a way to explain this.

"Cat?" She was reminded of Angelica.

"And…. and that was the last I saw of him Germany yes in Germany. Uh gotta go Ange, see you on leave."

"Cat!" She hung up the phone. Red raised an eyebrow.

"Germany huh?"

"Oh yeah well ya know how it goes." Catherine said as casually as she could muster. She went over to her bed and start to rifle through her backpack for no apparent reason.

"Yeah I am sure he isn't next door getting ready for leave at all." She looked up at Red.

"How did you know?"

Red held up a finger, "Firstly he is the only one of us with blue eyes," He lifted another finger, "Secondly he is the most intense," Another finger went up and Catherine deflated even more, "Thirdly he is the only one who apposes women in the military,"

"You heard that too?" He ignored her question.

"And lastly, it was obvious."

"Really?"

"Really," Catherine looked at her self in her full-length mirror that Slo hung for her on the wall. She was wearing jeans and a brown razor back tank top, her hair was in a ponytail and she even had lip gloss on. She had never been as girly as Angelica and always envied Angelica for it. Now she was really feeling like a boy in girl's clothes.

The gang, except L.T. and Zee were all going out for beers on their first night of leave along with some of their girl friends and a couple of nurses from the ship. They had docked in New York. Catherine wasn't sure if she was excited or terrified at the prospect of being with Lake in a non-work related environment. She knew one thing though she wanted to look good.

"Come on, they are going to leave, with out us." Catherine got up sulkily and headed to the door. "Don't you need a purse or something?"

"Oh," Catherine turned and grabbed her wallet and put it in her back pocket, she attached the wallet chain to a belt loop. She looked up at Red who was pinching the bridge of his nose.

"God, Cat you are such a boy." Catherine opened her mouth to argue. "Come on," He grabbed her arm and dragged her up deck.

Once on the flight deck of the aircraft carrier they met up with the other guys, who were all dressed up for a night on the town. Catherine couldn't help but check Lake out. He was wearing jeans, with a white shirt that was unbuttoned and a white tank top underneath. This was one of the few occasions where they were going into a visiting city in civvies.

Catherine got a light slap on the arm and looked at Red. He raised his eyebrows at her. "What?" She asked trying to look innocent.

"Come on, let's go please." Silk moaned they all started walking into town. Once on the docks they met up with the nurses who were all in stilettos and mini skirts, they were all baring their midriffs. Catherine looked down at her self. She was wearing a pair of worn out high tops.

"I think I am going to go back to the ship." She whispered to Red.

"No you are not." He said.

"Where are you going?" Catherine turned on her heel to see Lake looking at her with a raised eyebrow.

"She is going back to the ship." Red said looking at her. Lake looked at her again.

"No I'm not." Red opened his mouth to argue but as Catherine walked by him she stood on his foot. "Lets go."


	3. Hung over

Chapter Three

Catherine and the Nurse had decided to hit another bar because one of the nurses, Catherine was pretty sure her name was Betty, had just been dumped by Flea. They all decided some tequila shooters and some Karaoke was all she needed to forget him.

Catherine was still mumbled the lyrics to 'U shook me' by Divine Brown. She had given a very heart wrenching version….slightly slurred by heart wrenching as ever of the song at the bar and to some people on the street as they head back to the ship. She was trying to find her way to her barracks but seemed to be lost. She looked through the nearest door.

"Oh not you!" She said out loud and went to turn around but ended up walking in to the room anyway. Kelly Lake looked up at her impromptu entrance.

"You're late," He looked at his watch, "And pass curfew."

" '_and pass curfew'_" Catherine mimicked in a high pitched voice that resembled a chipmunk more then Lake, she looked at the man of her dreams, he seemed to be staggering a bit, or maybe that was her. "Yes mother, I would be in my room but I seemed to have misplaced it. You haven't seen it have you?"

"No," Was his blunt answer. He had taken of the white shirt and was in the tank top.

"No, you wouldn't have." She put her hands on her hips and didn't budge.

"Had too many drinks?" He asked taking off his watch and coming over until he was standing in front of her and leaned over dropping it on a desk. He shared the room with Red, Slo and Silk all of whom were absent.

"I dunno, count lost I did at seven." She squinted at him. "Where are the others?"

Lake shrugged, "With girls suppose."

"Why aren't you?"

He looked at her, "Why are you here?"

"I told you I am lost!" She crossed her arms and sat down hard on his bunk. He crouched in front of her.

"Lost huh?

"Yes lost and I think it is partly your fault."

"Really how so?"

"Because," And with every word she spook she poked him in the shoulder. "you. Are. Just. To. hot!"

He raised his eyebrows at her not expecting that. "Wha-

"Yes Mr. Lake, I think you are the most gorgeous guy since sliced bread and you can't tell anyone because it is a secret especially not you!" She giggled, "Actually Red knows but that is okay because he is nice."

"And I'm not?"

She shook her head and looked at him. "nope, you sir are insuffnerable….insufffcable…..something bad."

He smiled at her. "There is that smile again, that is all of twice I have ever seen it." He looked at her, "I am going to kiss you now Mr. Lake." She moved in to kiss him but he put up a hand and put it on her shoulder and pushed her back on the bunk. She almost instantly passed out.

He rolled his eyes, "Great."

He slipped his arm around her shoulders and one under her knees and picked her up. He was about to deposit her in her room next door when Red came around the corner and raised an eyebrow.

"Shut up." Lake barked. He dropped Cat on her bunk and left. Red shook his head and went to go in the room.

* * *

Cats sat down between Red and Silk forgetting her tray of food and only bringing a big cup of coffee. Red looked at her. Lake was across from her and was paying a lot of attention to his food.

"Headache?" Red asked casually.

"Mmm, stop screaming." Cat said resting her head gingerly on the table.

"Do you remember what happened last night?" Red asked casually. Lake looked up at him. Cat turned her head so her ear was on the cold steel surface and looked at him.

"I can't remember anything after I sung 'u shook me' at a karaoke place in the village. Why I didn't do something stupid did I?" She asked.

Red smiled and opened his mouth but soon shut it. Cat could hear something hit something else and looked under the table. Red was rubbing his shin. "No nothing at all."

Cat looked at Lake but he didn't look up from his breakfast.

* * *

L.T. walked into the workout room to see his Platoon all working out. "Men," They all stopped what they were doing including Cat who was on a stationary bike. They all moved to stand at attention but he put up a hand, "At ease." They all stayed where they were.

"A new bill has just been passed by congress allowing women on the front lines." Everyone looked at Catherine. She stopped taking a sip from her water bottle and stared at L.T. "We were just assigned to a mission in Somali so everyone hit the showers and go to the briefing room. That means you to Woods, let go." Everyone went to the showers, Catherine to the one for the women. She caught a look at Lake she had never seen him so angry in the seven months she had known him.


	4. Flying Solo

A/N: Okay, I am not entirely sure if they were marines or navy seals. I will have to re-rent the movie and check, till then I will keep referring to them as marines.

Chapter Four

Catherine was concentrating on L.T.'s hands. The fast movements were hard to take in but she had mastered the simple art. When she realised what he was motioning she got that nervous feeling in the pit of her stomach she always got when she was summoned.

It had been a year since her first mission in Somalia. Mostly she had hung back and let things be, but eventually L.T. started to trust her more and more and she was doing way more, like taking up the rare, setting up mines, and occasionally sniping even though she was no where near as good as Flea or Silk.

Now she was being called on to go into the very hostile building set up a timed bomb on one of the buildings main supports and get out all without being shot. She nodded and took off.

She easily and calmly set the charge at the base of the pillar. Everything was dusty. She set the timer for six hours when the meeting of Rebel Generals were supposed to meet. They were in South Africa and doing their best to help fight a losing war.

She carefully set the last wire in place and very slowly moved her hands away from the charge. She got up.

"Who is there?" She heard a voice say in rough English. She turned to see a man with an automatic weapon looking at her with shook spread all over his face. Luckily he had gotten nice and close.

With a quick kick to the head and another to the stomach he was unconscious on the ground. She stood over him to kick away his weapon when someone's arm wrapped around her neck. Trying to not let her panic get the better of her she grabbed the man's arm and kicked off going over his head and breaking his arm. She kicked him in the back and he hit the ground moaning slightly. She was about to draw her weapon when she remembered the briefing.

Like always Lake had asked 'Rules of engagement?' and like always Captain Rhodes answered 'They have to fire first.'

No one had technically shot at her so she shouldn't shot back. She kicked the guy in the head and he was out cold. She took a deep breath. The cap that had held her hair had fallen off and the bun that held it was quickly unravelling. She reached for her neck comm. When a hand grabbed her wrist and one covered her mouth.

Some how the person manoeuvred her over his shoulder and started running. She kneed him in the stomach and he fell forward, his shoulder ramming in to her stomach and pretty soon they were both on the ground gasping for air.

She rolled over to see Kelly Lake lying on his stomach with his eye tightly shut gasping for air.

"What the fuck-

"Shhh," He was still panting, he got up grabbed her hand and hauled her up as well and started down the corridor again. He swung around a wall and pushed her behind him and every so often looked around the corner.

"What are you doing here?" Cat demanded she had quickly gone back over the hand signals L.T. had given her. She was certain he had signalled for her and her alone to go into the building.

"I followed you." Lake answered quietly.

"Why? Does L.T. know you are here?"

"Yes, there were people on the second floor we saw."

"Yeah the whole building is crawling with soldiers that isn't anything new, if there was fire you guys were supposed to come in after me. And unless I am forgetting something there was no fire fight that I am aware of." Lake wasn't looking at her. Then it hit her, the only possible explanation for him being here, Cat grabbed his arm and hauled him around until he was facing her. "You didn't think I could do it!"

"This isn't the time." He barked at her, "We are in hostile territory and you are talking your mouth off! Now shut up and let me get us out of here!" Cat set her jaw, she was enraged but he did have a point she was behaving like child. He was probably only going to restate when they got back on the boat that this was exactly why women shouldn't be in the military.

Lake did get them out of the building with ease. Cat didn't see how it would have been so hard for her to get out on her own. When they met up with the rest of the group L.T. was giving Lake death stares they all got in the helicopter at the pick up site. Cat sat on the other side of the helicopter as far as she could manage from Lake.

Once they were back on the boat she went right to her barracks. After showering and calming down a great deal she decided to try and scrounge up some food. She opened her door and saw Lake, still in his full gear coming out of L.T.'s office.

"I am not done with you Lake!" L.T. yelled at him.

"Yes you are." Lake stormed down the hallway. Lake had always been somewhat of the rebel of the group but this was L.T. he was talking to.

"Straighten your ass up soldier!" Lake did stop and turn to face L.T. who looked like he was going to burst a blood vessel. "You pull any of that crap ever again and you will find yourself out of a job faster then you can say insubordination." With that L.T. went back into his office and slammed his door. Cat jumped at the sudden harsh sound and looked at Lake who was already in his room.

She stood in the doorway. The others were still in the cafeteria. Lake wrenched off his service jacket until he was in a white tank. "What the hell was that?" Cat demanded. He wrenched off the tank and turned to face Cat. She was struck dumb at the sight of his bare chest but he didn't seem to notice any change in her demeanour.

"Not from you too!" He demanded and pushed her out of the way and started down the hall to the guy's showers.

Cat grabbed his arm and twisted him to face her. "There was no need for you to come after me, I was doing just fine on my own! What don't you think I capable? Well I am!" He didn't say anything; he wasn't even looking at her. "Screw you Lake," She let go of his arm and was about to go back to her barracks.

"Cat!" She ignored him and continued back to her room until he grabbed her arm and turned her to face him. "Would you listen to me?"

"Let me go before I hurt you!" She snarled at him.

"Look, I was…. was worried about you okay?" He trailed off, and let go of her arm. She couldn't help but stare at him.

"You were- no you don't worry, you just didn't think I could do it." She said more to herself them him. She was uncomfortable with the idea that he might even care for her a little; it was easy to ignore someone who didn't care about you.

"I knew you could do it." He said simply. He sighed, pinched the bridge of his nose and turned to go back to showers.

"Hey, you don't just drop something like that into a conversation and then walk away!" She yelled at his back. She didn't actually have the gall to go up and grab him again.

He turned and faced her, "What do you want me to do? Sweep you off your feet? Announce my love for you in front of the crew? We are in the marines suck it up!" He turned and left her standing there with her mouth hanging open.

Did he say declare his love for her?


	5. In a Bar

Chapter Five

Neither Cat nor Lake said anything to each other for the next nine months let alone look at each other. Cat wasn't sure what to do. She had liked him from the first moment she had seen him but wasn't sure how he exactly felt about her. It was a tender situation, they were colleagues and not only at work but also at war and falling for someone you went to combat with just seemed to spell disaster but she couldn't help her self.

They were in a bar in New Jersey the group had decided to spend the last night together before all separating for the rare month long leave. Most were staying on the base but some lived off base and some were going to see family.

She kept shooting glances at Lake he didn't even acknowledge her existence. If her mother ever found out she was pining after a guy like Lake she would have had a fit but her mother didn't know and after tonight she wouldn't be seeing Lake for a month until they regrouped. She bit her lower lip. This was it she had to do it.

She walked over to him. Silk saw her coming and left Lake alone on the bar stool with beer in hand. Cat took a deep breathe before leaning on the counter beside him.

"How life treating ya marine?" She asked casually, he glanced at her over the beer bottle before taking another sip.

"What are you doing?"

Well that deflated her confidence, "I was making small talk you idiot."

"Oh,"

She gave him a snarky look and went back to her beer. "So what are you planning to do on leave?"

"Why?"

"Oh for Christ's Sake Lake can't anyone talk to you with out being interrogated?"

He looked at her. "You haven't spoken to me in nine months and you expect me to be all chatty all of a sudden?"

Cat opened her mouth but no words came out. The song changed over the speakers, "Wanna dance?" She asked.

He obviously wasn't expecting the question because he just stared at her, "What?"

"Ya know, two people go out on an open floor and shuffle around, for the most part awkwardly, to this noise called music." Now he was really looking at her like she was crazy. "Oh come on!" She grabbed his hand and hauled him up and on to the dance floor.

He turned to face her and put his hands on her hips, she wrapped her around his enormously muscular shoulders. She had never seen him so tense. "Am I really that bad?"

He looked down at her, "No, it's just…."

"Just?"

"We work together."

"Yeah but we are on leave right now."

"What happens when we aren't on leave?"

"Well then…" He was still looking at her and not even moving. "Oh forget it." She dropped her arms from his shoulders and left him on the dance floor. She grabbed her leather jacket and left. Out in the slightly chilly night she wrapped her arms around herself and headed to her truck.

What did she just do? She always seemed to ruin everything, never kept her cool in her life.

"Cat," She turned and saw Lake coming out of the bar and running until he was standing in front of her.

"What?" He stared at her, "What Lake? Did I forget something?"

"Yeah this." He grabbed her arm and pulled her until she was millimetres from him and he kissed her.


	6. Passion

Chapter Six

Lake stumbled into his apartment. He was slowed down by the fact that Cat had her legs wrapped around his torso and her arms around his neck. They were still kissing. Lake kicked the door shut and stumbled through to the bedroom. Cat pulled back and pulled his tee shirt off over his head. He kept walking until he hit the bed and they both fell on to it.

"You sure you wanna do this?" Lake asked breathlessly kissing Cat's neck as he unbuttoned the white blouse she was wearing.

"Definatly."


	7. Housewives

Chapter Seven

Cat was sitting on the counter in Red's house on the base with Lake in front of her. Her legs were loosely wrapped around his waist and her arms wrapped possessively around his shoulders. They were listening to Red tell the hilarious story of how he proposed to his girlfriend, Connie over the months leave.

It had been a weird month, almost like Catherine had been going through it in a dream. She could remember waking up in Kelly's apartment and he was looking at her. He told her she was beautiful. It was some how too perfect. They continued to see each other through out the whole break, either spending the night in his place or hers. Angelica had showed up one morning to find Lake opening the door in only his boxers.

Angelica had told her she was dead jealous of her. Catherine couldn't help but smile at the reminder. Angelica had always been the 'better' one. She got better grades, had bigger boobs, got more boys attention, got better presents…everything always happened better to Angelica then came Lake, ubber-sexy marine, built like a brick wall, intense, passionate, rebel and he was all Cat's.

"So I reach into the picnic basket and realise that I forgot the champagne." There was a collective giggle around the kitchen as Red continued his tail.

They were heading back to the ship tomorrow and Catherine was dreading it. They had both agreed that when they were working that they were only colleagues. That was it. Catherine was having a hard time imagining it. Not waking up in his arms. No more kisses. No more Lake except for the hard ass marine side of him.

"So finally she said yes." Red finished the story and looked down at Connie. She had been living in his house on the base for a year now and they were really good together. Catherine was certain they were going to be happy.

She was glad for them. "You guys go and do manly things, drink beer, BBQ, spit, fight, swear, hammer up some dry wall, just make sure those steaks are done!" Connie said shooing her fiancé out of the kitchen.

Kelly hooked his arms under Cat's leg and stood up, picking her up too. "Oh no she stays here." Kelly looked slightly surprised that someone with a 5'4" frame like Connie would actually stand up to him. But dejectedly he deposited Cat on the counter again. She kissed him on the neck.

"See you in a few."

"Yeah," He said.

"Man you make me sick we will only be outside!" Silk said. He shook his head. Off all their teammates he had taken the announcement of Lake and Cat's relationship the hardest. He had always like Cat and always hit on her. Cat supposed he was pretty sure that Lake would kick his ass if he tried anything now.

"Man I remember when Michael treated me like that. Mm, mm I miss that, but you just wait hun," Catherine looked at Slo's wife Jennifer. Her Texan accent was so cool and she was like the mother to the entire team. "It'll fade." Cat wasn't sure if she was talking to Cat or Connie but who ever she was talking to Cat didn't like the sound of it.

"No it won't Jen, you just gotta spice things up a little." Connie said chopping carrots.

"Spice thing up? Hun when you have four kids I'll ask you how much you feel like spicing things up at the end of the day." Connie giggled at the remark and Catherine felt uncomfortably out of place.

She didn't know what to say to either of them. They were now discussing the price of toilet paper. Cat ran her hand through her hair. She was unbelievably out of place. Ask her how to set up a land mine, she could do it. Ask her to set a timed charge, she could do it. Ask her to cook a casserole and you may have well have asked her to fly. She didn't know what it was like to feel the crushing sense of lost to see your man go of on an aircraft carrier and not know if he was coming home. She didn't know what it entailed to be a housewife.

"So have you met Kelly's parents yet?" She looked up sharply at Connie who had asked the sudden question. It was so weird to hear him referred to as Kelly.

"Uh, no…we have only been together a month."

"Oh, well no worries there, you just have to tell his mother that her son is the light of your life and that you would love for her to teach you how to cook his favourite meals…. even if you already know how to cook." Connie and Jennifer laughed knowingly at the last part. Catherine just sat there and felt her palms getting sweaty. How could she say something clever, funny and relevant to these women?

"Right," She answered sounding like a complete twit.

Jennifer smiled in her direction, "That's a girl, now how bought you sauté these onions for the burgers." She handed Catherine a pan full of sliced onions and Cat stared at them.

"Excuse me?"

* * *

"Babe?"

No Response.

"Babe."

Still nothing, if Catherine didn't know better she would have sworn Lake was asleep. They were lying in his apartment, her back to his chest; his arms were wrapped around her.

"Kelly!"

"Mmm, what?" He hated being referred to as Kelly it got him every time.

"Am I a good girlfriend?" Lake yawned in her ear.

"I dunno," He rolled over and looked at the clock, "It if four in the fucking morning Cat!"

"Firstly, you were very awake twenty minutes ago and secondly, what kind of a response is that? 'I dunno'."

He squinted at her trying to get her to focus. "Why?" He asked narrowing his eyes staring at her.

"I dunno." She shrugged lifting her self up by the elbow. "I can't cook…I can do laundry, suppose that's good." She bit her lower lip and ran her hand through her hair.

"Where is this coming from?" He asked rubbing his hand over his face.

"I dunno, just being with Connie and Jennifer I guess, they are…. house wife's. I hate to think I am letting you down in some way." Lake looked at her.

"What the hell are you going on about?"

"What?"

"Look, if I didn't like you I would have slept with you," he closed his eyes obviously believing the discussion to be over.

"Is that, I mean, are we only ya know…?" He opened his eyes and stared at her.

"No I don't know."

"Are we only in this for the sex?" She bit her lower lip, "I mean it is great but…"

Lake sat up and got out of bed. He looked amazingly hot in his light blue boxers. He started pacing at the end of the bed. Catherine sat up and watched him.

"Look, I mean come on, you know I am not all ya know touchy feely."

"I never implied that you were."

"And I mean you knew what you were signing up for." Catherine furrowed her brow at his words.

"I didn't sign up for anything." He looked at her.

"Oh come on Cat," He crawled on to the bed until he was close to her. "Can't we just go back to bed?"

"No, and technically we are already in bed."

"Err!" He rolled over and put both hands over his face. "Why are you doing this to me?" He asked the words muffled by his hands.

"I am not doing anything you are the one who is working yourself into a state."

He looked at her his eyes wide with annoyance. "You started it."

She smiled at him, "Forget it,"

"Well now I can't." He sighed and sat up beside her. "You know me Cat, I don't …"

"Talk?"

"Yeah, but I mean when it come down to it…" She continued to look at him quizzically even though he obviously wanted her to stop him, "I care about you Cat." He looked down at the bed sheets.

"Even if I can't cook?" She asked quietly. He looked at her.

"Even if you can't cook…. which you can't." She laughed. He put his hand on her cheek. "Kiss me." And she did.


	8. Emotions Run High

A/N: Okay so I have kinda lost track of what time it is in the story but I do know that it is four and a half years until the movie takes place, so I hope you enjoy. And thank you to Iresol, for my review and thanks for the correction I will refer to them as seals from now on.

Chapter Eight

Cat sat down at the bench like breakfast table with nothing but a cup of coffee and a piece of toast with nothing on it. She felt sulky and had already yelled at Flea for asking her why she looked like hell. The morning wasn't going to well for her.

They had just got back from a two-month leave, in which Cat had moved into Lake's apartment and met his parents. They were nice people. His dad had been in the army and was still coming to terms with the fact his one and only son had chosen the Navy instead. His mother was nice, really protective, but Connie's advice had served Catherine well and she now knew how to cook three, three course meals.

Red looked at her as she sat down beside him with Lake across for her. They had kept their promise, when it was time to work you would have never have known they were both madly in love. And good to his word Lake never pulled another shadowing stunt.

"You okay?" Red asked Cat as she sat down with her near empty breakfast tray.

"Peachy," She snarled at him.

"Wow, calm down."

"I am sorry," Cat burst out feeling shockingly close to tears. "I don't know what's wrong with me."

"Maybe it is that time of the month." Lake said casually taking a gulp of his coffee. Cat glared at him and kicked him under the table. He choked on the coffee and glared at her. "OWW! What was that for?"

"For being an insensitive jerk!" She said no where near tears anymore. She couldn't believe him, anytime she showed any sort of emotion he always seemed to say 'Maybe it is that time of the month' that time of the month had nothing to do with it!

He was still glaring at her and rubbing his chin when Silk came over and sat down beside Lake looking like the world was falling apart. "What's the matter with you?" Red asked wanting to change the subject.

"The Yankee's just lost."

"I think I am going to be sick." Cat said.

"I know," Silk said resting his head in his hands.

"No, really I think I am going to be sick." Cat stood up and ran to the women's bathroom.

"What's with her?" Silk asked.

"I have no clue." Lake said picking up her abandoned toast and eating it.


	9. Changes

Chapter Nine

Cat put one hand on either side of the cold metal sink. They were shaking slightly. She didn't know what was going with her. She looked at herself in the small mirror. She looked pale. After rinsing with the mouth wash that was beside the soap in a dispenser on the wall she left to go to her barracks.

There were no plans today they were just sailing. L.T. had given them the day off to get their stuff into their foot lockers and get comfy before succumbing to chores and drills. She walked into her room, only seconds later Lake appeared in the doorway. She looked up at him. He stepped into the room.

"Are you okay?" He asked slight concern in his eyes.

"Yeah, probably just ate some bad sushi on leave or something," She gave him a forced smile.

"Maybe you should go to the doc."

"I doubt it is that serious,"

Lake surveyed her for a minute, he wasn't pushy and that was defiantly one of the most appealing things about his character to Cat. "Alright, the guys and I are going on the flight deck, ya wanna join?"

"Nah, I think I am just going to stay here, as exciting as the flight deck is." Lake gave her a playful punch in the arm and left. She was still smiling even after he left.

She sank on to her bunk. She would apologize to Lake later for kicking him, but it being the time of the month wasn't anyone business but her own, even if he was right. Then something hit Cat like a ton of bricks.

She dove off the bunk and opened her foot locker. She rifled through her clothes and other affects.

"Shit," She said. She had left her three months supply of birth control pills in the bathroom cupboard. Then another thing hit her. Her eyes widened and she felt like she was going to be sick again. But it couldn't be…they were careful, extremely careful.

She turned and ran through the hallways of the enormous ship until she was outside of the on board doctors examining room. She walked in. He looked up at her slightly surprised at her impromptu entrance.

"I need a pregnancy test."

* * *

Cat sat uncomfortably on the examining table while they waited for the result of the test.

"So, who is the lucky man?" She looked at the doctor and scowled.

"I tell him first."

The doctor nodded. "No offense, don't get many request for these around here."

"I am sorry I have been slightly off hinge for a while now," Cat said still not offering any info up. The doctor nodded and the timer sounded. He turned to see the result.

Catherine rang her hands it seemed to be taking an eternity. The doctor turned and looked at her.

"Congratulation you are going to have a baby."


	10. The News

Chapter Ten

Cat stood leaning against the wall outside the doc's office. She wasn't sure that that was real. She had this enormous range of emotions in a matter of seconds. Joy, panic, fear, terror, happiness, more terror, and then numbness.

What was Lake going to say? What was L.T. going to say? He had taken an enormous risk being on of the first Lieutenants in the Navy let alone the seals to have a woman on the front lines voluntarily, and she had gone and gotten pregnant. But this was impossible, she was on the pill, they used a condom religiously…and now here she was somewhere in international water pregnant.

What _was_ Lake going to say? They never talked about the future. Ever! She had never felt the need to bring it up. They had known each other over two and a half years, and been together almost a year. She rubbed her hand over her face. She needed advice badly, she decided to tell L.T. first, this was going to interfere in her work and he was her boss.

She knocked on the door, "Enter," She pushed open the door and saw, L.T. Waters behind his desk.

"Sir," She saluted and he saluted back.

"At Ease." He was rifling through all the papers on his desk. And glanced at her, He pointed at a seat, "have a seat Woods."

She sat down with a thud. He looked at her over the half lenses he was wearing. "Uh sir, I need a word."

"So I gathered." He gave her a sardonic smile. She nodded and licked her lips.

"I am pregnant," He just continued to stare at her. "I didn't mean to I mean if I had been trying I wouldn't have signed up with you, I don't know what to do sir."

He looked at her calmly. "Lake's?"

She nodded and looked at her hands. He nodded again. "Does he know?" She shook her head. "Right, well you tell him discuss what you are going to do and then come back to me." Cat nodded and let after being dismissed. That wasn't as helpful as she had hoped it would be.

* * *

Catherine stood in the doorway looking out on to the flight deck. It was an amazing day, blue skies with fluffy white clouds dotting the sky. There was a lot of wind though. They guys were all hanging out. Lake, Slo, Silk, Red, Flea, and Doc were all hanging out around the choppers laughing having fun. Of course they were all in uniform. With their brown pants and crisp white tops. No one had on a hat. Catherine all of a sudden felt like running back to her barrack and hiding under her bunk. 

What was he going to say? She took a deep breath and looked down at her self. She was wearing a brown a line skirt that ended at the knee and a white blouse. She took another deep breath before heading out on to the deck.

The guys were joking about something or other; Catherine wasn't really listening to any of them. She tapped Lake on the shoulder. He turned and smiled at her.

"Cat, you feeling okay now?"

"Depends, can I talk to you a minute?" He nodded and they walked along the flight deck. They stopped and Lake turned to stand in front of her. She took a deep breath again.

"What's up?" He asked crossing his arms.

"Lake, I'm…"

"You're…." He prompted.

"I'm pregnant." He stared at her like she had just slapped him. His hand went to the back of his neck

"Uh…you sure?" He asked looking out over the ocean.

"Yeah," She said quietly. He put both his hand on his face and turned to face the water. Cat wasn't sure what his reaction would qualify as.

"You're serious?" He asked looking at her again.

"As a heart attack," She answered still trying to judge his reaction.

"Yeah!" He wrapped his arms around her thighs and lifted her up. She intertwined her fingers and leaned back using his neck as support. Cat was very shocked by the reaction. He was smiling up at her.

"You're not upset or scared, or mad?"

He laughed casually, "Scared? Hell yes, but I mean the woman I love is going to have my baby, how much can things get better?"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Cat struggled down from his hold and stood in front of him. She looked at him in the eye. She knew how she felt about him, Catherine loved him with every fiber of her being and she was fairly sure he felt the same about her but he had never actually said the words. "You have never said that before, you actually love me?" She asked it was like it was too good to be true.

He wrapped his arms around her, "'Course I do Cat," She smiled at him.

"You think we are ready for this?"

"No,"

"Oh thanks for the vote of confidence." They laughed and then turned to see the guys all looking at them. Cat took a deep breath and looked at Lake. "Why don't you tell them?"

"Really?"

"Yeah," He ran over and soon the flight deck was filled with the shouts and congrats of six grown men.

Catherine smiled to her self, things were going well.


	11. Leaving

Chapter Eleven

Cat sat sitting between Lake's legs with her head resting on his chest they were looking at a calendar.

"So, excluding anything happening, you will be on leave when I give birth," Cat said scanning the month.

"You kidding? I would swim there if I had to." She looked at him and he smiled down at her. It had been quite a shock when L.T. informed her that she was going home on an equipment plane.

He was right she couldn't exactly walk around the ship pregnant she wouldn't be much help and she would be a distraction for Lake and she didn't want that to happen.

"You flight's here Cat," Red said looking in the bedroom. She nodded and She and Lake both got up. Lake ducked into her barracks and got her bag.

Once on the flight deck she turned to him. It was surprisingly hard to say good bye. Tears were actually in her eyes. She smiled at him and he gave her a small smile back.

"I'll miss you," She whispered to him.

"I'll be home soon,"

"I know,"

"WOODS!" The pilot yelled. She hugged Lake and kissed him on the cheek.

"I love you,"

"I love you too, take care of yourself." She got on the plane and looked out the window and she could see Lake standing on the flight deck. She waved and he waved back. As they took off he got smaller and smaller and she found her self feeling very alone.


	12. Nine Months Later

Chapter Twelve

_Nine Months Later_

"How about Adam?" Lake asked looking over at Catherine.

"No,"

"Michael?"

"No,"

"uh…Christopher?"

"No,"

"Cameron?"

"No,"

"I don't see you coming up with any," He grumbled looking down at their brand new baby boy.

"You go through eighteen hours of labor and see how creative you feel," Lake made a noise that suggested she was exaggerating. "Pardon?"

"Oh nothing how about Jackson?"

Cat opened her mouth to shoot the idea down but stopped, She smiled at Lake who was holding the baby, "Yeah I like Jackson, Jackson Miles Lake, it's perfect."

"Yeah Jackson," Lake looked at the baby as if he was his whole world.

Catherine reflected on the past nine months. Lake's leave began on her eight month. The apartment was very different when he arrived home, there was an enormous basinet that her father had made, and the blankets were made by his mother. The bathroom was full of diapers, diaper rash cream, baby powder, everything imaginable needed for a new born. They had a lot of fun buying mountains of stuffed animals and baby books. Catherine had to explain to Lake that Tom Clancy wouldn't be appropriate.

She remembered one night in particular.

"_Babe,"….. "Babe,"….. "Babe!"…… "KELLY!" _

"_Yeah," He said sitting up instantly, "You okay? Anything wrong? Do I need to call your mother?"_

"_No," _

"_Oh," He lay back down, "What then," He was always snarky when he first woke up, Catherine was used to it by now. _

"_I was wondering if you would pop out and get some smarties ice cream," _

"_Cat, it's six in the morning," _

"_I know, but if someone would stop eating my craving ice cream then you would only have to go to the kitchen instead of the store."  
_

"_Point taken," He got up and got the ice cream for her. _

"You aren't going to be having anymore cravings are you?" He asked looking up at her.

"No, I'm good now," He smiled at her. A nurse came and took Jackson Lake to the nursery so Lake and Cat could be alone for a while.

"You sure you wanna come back after a year?" he asking sitting in an armchair beside her hospital bed.

"Yeah, mum said she wouldn't mind playing grandma to Jackson while we are gone, and I need to finish my tour at least,"

"L.T. said you didn't have too," Lake countered, Cat looked at him.

"We both know that we have the best Lieutenant in the Navy, I sign up and then two years into my service I get pregnant, he should have court marshaled me."

"That would be sexist," She looked up at Lake who was watching her.

"Are you sure_ your_ hormones are okay?" Cat asked staring at him.

"Look, if you want to stay home with Jack then L.T. said you could," Lake said shrugging; Catherine knew he didn't like the idea of her back at work with their son at home.

"Look Hun, I would like nothing more then to be at home with Jack but, I gotta do this or it will follow me for the rest of my life, I just have to honor that contract." Lake nodded.

"It is your decision." He said and kissed her on her forehead. He sat back down and rubbed a hand over his face. "Can you believe we are parents?"

She smiled and laughed a little, "No,"

He smiled at her, "You are going to be the coolest mum," She smiled at him.

"Yeah and you are going to be the most awesome dad ever," They smiled at each other. They were a family.


	13. The Beginning

A/N: Okay these following chapters take place during the actual movie; I hope you all enjoy these.

Chapter Thirteen

_Four Years Later_

"And then I said to Jeremy, 'no' and he said 'yeah' so then we raced and I won! It was really neat mommy,"

"Really baby?"

"Yeah," Cat took a deep breath and looked at Lake who was standing beside her.

"Well, do you wanna talk to daddy?"

"Yeah!"

"Okay sweetie, don't forget to let daddy talk to grandma once you are done. You know I love you right?"

"Yeah,"

"You forgetting something,"

"Oh, I love you mommy,"

"I love too baby, see you soon,"

She handed Lake the phone and he hugged her.

"Hey, little man," He said over the phone. Cat walked over and sat down heavily beside Red and Doc.

"You okay?" Doc asked.

"Yeah, just keeps getting harder and harder to hang up that phone," She stared at the tray of food, L.T. had order them to get some grub before the briefing but she had never felt less hungry in her life. "Tell Lake I am in my room, kay?"

"Kay,"

"Thanks,"

She walked through the ship until she was in her barracks. She glanced at the clock on the wall; they had another fifteen minutes before the briefing. The last mission seemed to take forever.

One more week she kept telling herself looking at the calendar that Jackson had made for her; Lake had one in blue because he was a boy like Jackson. One more week and Catherine would have finished her entire contract. She could go home and be with Jack.

There was a knock on the door. She looked up to see Lake standing in the door way. "Hey," He said quietly.

"Hey yourself." She got up and sauntered over to him.

"We gotta go to the briefing,"

"Ya I know, I can't wait for leave,"

"I know what you mean, we will be home soon."

* * *

"Rules of engagement?" Lake asked, the Captain answered the same response. Cat was sitting leaning against one of Lake's legs listening closely. A doctor, a priest and two nuns, it sounded like the beginning of a bad joke.

She got up with the rest as they all went to get their jump gear on.


	14. In Times of War

Chapter Fourteen

The past few hours had been surreal in a way Catherine had never been able to comprehend. It was supposed to be simple, a doctor, a priest and two nuns somehow became a female doctor and around thirty refugees.

They were traipsing through the Nigerian jungle at a terrifyingly slow pace. The doc didn't seem to grasp the idea that rebels were after them, and as American Soldiers they weren't supposed to be there. If the rebels caught them and beat L.T.'s crew then it would be bad, the rebels wouldn't have pity on those with the bum legs.

When they had finally made the drop zone Catherine had breathed for the first time in hours. She could see the helicopters, her ticket back to her little boy. Then she would be done, that was it…but as it turned out it wasn't. L.T. decided to go noble and turn the bird around and Catherine respected him for it if it wasn't taking her farther away from Jackson.

It wasn't their place, they were interfering with international law and Catherine didn't want to be court marshalled for something she didn't want to do. Usually she would have been first to suggest the idea of staying and protecting the people but now she had to think of her son. Her priorities had shifted.

Now she was standing outside of a village in which she had seen abominations that would never leave her. She wanted to scratch the memories out of her minds eye. Lake was standing in front of her with his arms around her. It was the first time in six years they had ever shown emotion for one another on the job. Catherine wanted to disappear into him.

She pulled back to look at him. "We have to go find L.T."

He nodded and let go of her. She suddenly felt very cold and alone.

* * *

"What the fuck was that?" She yelled at him grabbing Lake by the arm, he swung around to look at her.

They had just been by a small river and discussed their feelings towards the mission. Lake hadn't held back, he spoke his mind, he though it was absolute bull shit that they were doing this. They had been _on_ the bird, they had been going home but somehow they had ended up back in the damn jungle fighting for the people they had nothing to do with.

Catherine on the other hand hadn't been so candid. Her words had been: "_Ignore Lake, we are in L.T._"

Now she was standing in front of him giving him one of those looks she gave. Like the time he had said the 'F' word in front of Jackson by accident. "What do you mean leave? We can't leave these people out here; it is our fault they are out here to begin with!"

"_We_ didn't bring them anywhere, it isn't my fault L.T. had a change of moral conscience in the middle of a mission! And it sure as hell isn't your fault!" Lake said heatedly to Catherine's face.

"We don't have a choice, this is what we do!" She snarled at him. Both were trying to keep their voices under wrap. "What if this was us? What if Jackson was one of those kids?"

Lake looked Catherine in the eye when she said that with intensity she didn't know he had. "I _am_ thinking of Jackson! He is all I am thinking about and the deeper and deeper we get in this the less likely it seems we will be able to walk away from this."

Catherine stared at Lake after his words. "Lake," She said quietly placing her hand on his cheek, "I am scared too but we have to do this."

He looked at her, "Right," He turned from her and continued on the trail. Catherine stared at his back, she felt her world melt away from her, things were out of control and she hated that.


	15. Pain

Chapter Fifteen

She could remember the blue of the sky. That was the clearest thing. Red had grabbed her hand and dragged her after him. She hadn't wanted to go…

She had struggled against his momentum. She wanted to back… Eventually he had grabbed her around the legs and thrown her over his shoulder running out of the forest and into the thick grass.

He had thrown himself down, his shoulder driving into her stomach, winding her. She couldn't think. Red was shielding her, she couldn't move, the ground was shaking, the noises around her weren't making any sense, like her brain couldn't absorb them fast enough. She was shell shock.

When it had stopped and Red loosened his grip she had lain in the dirt looking at the blue sky then she smelt it, it seemed to burn the inside of her nostrils. She had sat up and saw the smoke issuing from the forest. She looked to her side, LT looked terrible, Red was in between LT and her and then there was Doc.

It started to dawn on her as she looked back at the smouldering forest, "No," She had whispered her voice was rough and the pain was intense in her throat as she had groaned the word.

She couldn't breath; it was like Red had winded her again. She started to shake her head as her breathing got harder and harder. Red was watching her as the Doc looked over LT.

"Cat," He had said in a quiet voice, his hand had rested on her arm. She had looked at the contact as if Red was stabbing her; she quickly drew her hand back away from him.

"No!" She screamed. She scrambled to her feet and tried to take off but Red had grabbed her.

"NO CAT!" He was screaming his arm tight around her middle.

"Noo-oo LAKE!" She screamed her throat screaming in protest.

She could remember Kelly dragging her down after they had been dodging fire. She had loaded the machine gun he had mounted and was going to fire, then came LT's order to move back, she had gotten up and so had Lake, she was sure…but he had stopped. That was why she had been fighting Red so hard, she knew Kelly wasn't with them...

She sat on her bunk in the ship feeling raw and completely alone. Her eyes were red and a flame from crying. She sat with her back against the wall and her knees up against her chest. Her head was resting on her knees. Her heads were shaking. They always shook now, they wouldn't even let her hold a gun anymore.

She had remembered sitting in the dirt the refugees around her yelling, singing calling them heroes. The black plastic of the body bag radiating heat from being in the sun so long. It was among the others. She had yelled that she hadn't wanted him to be with the others but no one had listened. She wouldn't go with LT on the first chopper. Anyone who went near her to take her away from him got hurt.

A woman, a refugee had sat down beside her. "I lost my husband." She said in poor English. Cat had looked at her, her eyes brimming with tears as she had looked into the open face of the beautiful woman. She couldn't have been more then twenty herself but her voice had sounded wise. "It is pain." The words had been simple enough but they had dulled the shock it became more real in that moment.

Cat had fallen forward a moan escaping her that sounded more animal than human. She could still hear the sound of her hair hitting the bag encasing him, the feel of the ground under her fists as she pummelled it again and again, the sweet smell of the woman refugee as she had hugged Cat against herself. Now she sat again in the ship.

"Cat, we're home." Red said standing in her doorway. When she didn't respond he shook his head and left her alone. He knew there was no one waiting for her on the dock; she had written and told her mother to wait with Jackson at home.

She slowly pushed herself up, the thought of being home with her little boy….Kelly's little boy the only thing driving her. She walked out of the barrack for the last time with her duffle bag over her shoulder and a backpack with all of Kelly's immediate personal possessions in it the rest would be sent later.

She walked down the corridors barely able to breathe or concentrate on her actions.

"Catherine!" The female voice sounded like an explosion in her ears. Cat ignored her, she had nothing to say…least of all to her. "Catherine please wait," She grabbed Cat's arm.

"I have nothing to say." Cat yanked her arm out of the Doctor's grip and continued down the hall.

Catherine wasn't sure if she wanted to be caught... to confront Lena but she let the doctor get ahead of her and grab on to each of her arms.

"I just wanted to thank you before you left for everything you did for me as well as the people."

Catherine slowly let her duffle drop to her side and gently put Kelly's backpack on the ground and looked at the woman with a cold and empty smile.

"You wanted to thank me?" She said with a hollow tinge to her voice, the doctor nodded, "You!?!" Without even attempting to control herself Catherine grabbed the woman by the front of her shirt and hauled her up against the wall of the corridor making sure that the woman's feet left the ground, "And what the hell makes you think I want to hear a fucking thing you have to say!?" Catherine screamed. Someone grabbed her from behind and hauled her backwards. It was Red, but she couldn't stop. "You should be fucking dead in that village. We should have left you, you stubborn bitch, you should have burned." The doctor's horrified expression burned in Catherine's eyes the pain in the woman's face gave her a sense of perverse justice.

LT jogged down the hall and helped the doctor back to her feet as her hand went too her throat. LT stared at Cat surpirse regestering on his features. Catherine let her eyes meet his her contempt challenging his stare.

He had shook his head and walked over to her. "Red, take Lena to the dock, We will be out in a minute." L.T. took a hold of Cat's upper right arm but Red didn't let her go. His jaw was tight as he met their commanding officer's gaze. Cat knew what he was doing but she didn't want his protection. She shrugged off his grasp and let L.T. drag her back to his office.

He slammed the door, "I know you are hurting Cat but..." She turned at his words. "Jesus Christ what is that going to accomplish?"

"You don't know the first thing about hurt. You lost a couple of men? I lost my soul mate, the father of my son." Her tone was quiet, deadly. "You see how you fucking feel then." She went to leave.

"You think I am done?"

"I don't want to hear anything you have to say." She said putting her hand on the doorknob.

His fist slammed into the door, "I could have you court-martialled!" He yelled.

"Fine then!" She screamed at him. "Do it! I don't care anymore. How much harder will it to be to explain to Jackson that he is never going to see either of his parents again!?" Tears stung her eyes again, she hadn't ever realised just how many tears a person could hold.

"That's right Cat, Jackson, you have to think about him right now if not yourself."

"Don't!...don't you dare talk about my son, or what's best for him." She said shaking at the injustice of it all. "How is it best that he will never remember who is father is? How is it best that he will never know how much Kelly loved him? How is it best..." Her arms went up around her head as she shook her head sliding down the wall of L.T.'s office.

"I know," L.T. reassured. "I know,"

"He wanted to go back, he didn't want to save them, and I argued with him I actually argued with him!!" She screamed anger at herself flooding over her emotional threshold. "Oh god why, why did we go back?"

"We saved a lot of people, Lake saved a lot of people."

Cat shook her head looking at L.T. "I want to say he would think it was worth it but I can't, he wanted to go home. He wanted to see his son. I will always regret going back because I would trade all those people, I would send them to their deaths just to have Kelly back." L.T. looked in Cat's eyes with an unreadable expression. She shook her head wiping her eyes. "Now I have to go home and try to explain to my five year old son that his father is never coming home. But what do you care, you traded Kelly for a good fuck."

She knew that wasn't true but she didn't care. She was full of hate and anger and sorrow. For whatever reason L.T. let her get up and walk out of his office without stopping her.


	16. The Sorrow of the End

Chapter Sixteen

She had collapsed onto her knees the concrete sending a shot up her body but she ignored it all as he ran into her open arms. She held him so tightly, she never wanted to let him go. She saw through her tears her mother standing on the front porch of their house leaning against one of the beams. One of her arms was across her chest the other covering her face. Cat knew that look it was look her mother got when she was crying.

Her hand went to the back of Jackson's head as his little arms held tightly around her neck. "Mummy!" He had cried out excitedly. The box car that Kelly had built for him lay forgotten on the lawn.

Cat couldn't help but let the sob escape her chest. Jackson pulled back looking at her with concern. "What's wrong?" He had asked confusion filling his expression. She had bit down on her lower lip, quickly wiping away her tears.

"Nothing, I am just happy to see you again."

"I am happy your home too." He said smiling. Her hand ran over his beautiful golden hair. That was all he had of her, everything else was pure Kelly. "Where's Daddy?"

Cat sat on the edge of her bed. She hated it so much now. Almost every night she slept with Jackson, unable to face the emptiness of the other side of the bed the coldness of the night, the flash backs, alone.

Now she sat with tears slowly running down her cheeks falling on to the folded American Flag on her laps, clutched in her hands. How was she going to do this? The black suit she had worn felt uncomfortable and constrictive now. She tore off the jacket and skirt set and lunged at her dressing table. She pulled out a pair of sweat pants and threw them on reaching for a top she pulled one out and realised it was one of Kelly's old tank tops.

Without even thinking about it she flung it on. But the smell...it still smelt like him, that she hadn't expected. She gasped as her legs collapsed underneath her.

"Why?" She whispered between sobs. "Why you Kelly?"

She found herself walking out across their backyard the flag in her hands again, then she was climbing the ladder into Jackson's tree house.

"Hey buddy." She said as she had climbed in to sit beside him. He didn't look up. He had all his toy soldiers lined up facing each other and was knocking them down without really taking in what he was doing. The sight made tears burn in her eyes. "What are you doing?" He shrugged. He didn't understand what was going on.

Her mother had changed him out of his suit into a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. Cat took a deep breath and grabbed him under the arms and gently lifted him onto her lap. He looked at her with a hollow expression. "Remember what I told you about Daddy?" She asked in a quiet voice hoping he couldn't hear it break.

Jackson nodded, "Yeah, you said, you said that he had to help some people that weren't lucky like we were and that he was fighting bad guys and wouldn't come back." He looked up at her his eyebrows pulled together. "Mummy, I want him to come home."

She held Jackson close to her, "I know baby, I want him to come home too but we have to be brave, like Daddy. Those people needed him and he went to help them, to fight the bad guys, but now we can't have him back. And I know he misses you very, very much and he wanted you to have this." Cat put the flag in Jackson's hands. His hands couldn't even hold it up, He ran his fingers over the white stars.

"He did?"

"Yes, he wanted you to have this, and treasure this forever and know that he loves you and misses you very, very much." Cat swallowed hard.

"I miss him too."

"I know you do sweetie, I miss him too." She held Jackson tightly as she gently rocked them both back and forth.

"Can I give something to Daddy so he will remember me?"

"Of course you can anytime you want to go somewhere to talk to Daddy or give him something you just ask me and I will take you straight there no matter what."

"Will he be there?"

Cat shook her head, "No but he will understand."

Jackson nodded. "Can we go there today?" The thought of going, back. Seeing the freshly left soil tore at Cat's heart but she nodded.

"Course we can." He nodded and rested his head against her chest.

When he got older and started to ask more questions she would tell him that Kelly was dead and then eventually why he died. There was no point now. But she would always make sure that Jackson knew his father had loved him and always would.


End file.
